Ch. 2 I'm not a regular mom, I'm a naked mom
I wanted to sit in the bathtub because my stomach was hurting. I left my husband & Hendrix in the living room & was alone in our bathroom for only a few minutes before I heard the familiar patter of running footsteps. *POOF* a little human appeared beside the bathtub & asked to get in. My husband entered the bathroom at that moment & tried to corral Hendrix back to the living room so I could be alone, but I stopped him. I did want be alone, but someday, this child will stop asking to get into the tub with me & I will grieve when that day comes. That day is not today.
I've recently learned there is a term for moms like me (& maybe you too) - "naked mom" - which refers to a mother who is comfortable being nude in front of her children during daily routines like showering, using the bathroom, changing, etc.
Aren't all moms naked moms?
Having grown up with a 'naked mom', I've spent the majority of my life thinking that children seeing their mother naked was the norm, until I received this comment a week ago from a random woman online:
Click here to see what bikini warranted this comment.
If this stranger was upset about my bikini, her head would spin if she knew that Hendrix sees me in my birthday suit! But as her comment continued to receive likes, I knew that this woman's beliefs were not hers alone.
Her comment brought me back to a conversation I had with my mother-in-law while I was pregnant with Hendrix. I remember it like it was yesterday, despite it being 5+ years ago. I was telling her about my glorious plan to breastfeed my son & I could see the judgement her eyes. She explained to me that she did not breastfeed either of her two boys because they were boys & how it was different for my mom to have breastfed me & my sister because my mom had girls.
Was this internet stranger upset merely because I wore a skimpy suit (my original thought) or was it specifically because it was in front of my son & it would be different if I had a daughter?
I have not responded to this stranger's comment, & I probably never will, but if I did, I would tell her two things:
1. There is nothing 'typical' about our home. Our son is autistic & requires constant supervision. Our interior doors have no locks & remain open all day until bedtime. If my husband isn’t home, Hendrix is coming to the bathroom with me. Privacy is not a priority in our home & I don’t foresee a near future where it will be.
2. My naked mom always used to say:
so keep your cunty comments to yourself & don’t worry about my mf bikini.
I will die on this hill that a mother should not have to move through her own home with modesty & that un-sexualized nudity inside the house is not only harmless but healthy.
& when the time comes that Hendrix wants to bathe alone, or doesn't need help getting dressed or doesn't require constant supervision, our son's privacy will be respected, but right now is not that time.
Naked moms, I see you & I get it.
Non-naked moms, I want to understand. If you have anything insightful or thought-provoking to add to this comment section, I would love to read it, even if I don't agree with it, but please remember to be kind.
Love always, Lin
As a mother of 2 girls – my girls have absolutely NO FILTER. Lol I used to be skinny before becoming a mother but like some of us , we gained weight & still 8 years later I’m a bit insecure about my body so I’m always clothed & if I’m naked it’s because I’m in the process of getting dress but my girls are very touchy ( toddler & 7 y/o) and they’ll make comments like “your belly is so soft mommy” or “I see your boobies” LOL my only fear is them going to school telling everyone that my stomach is jiggly and that mom has big boobs haha. But to each their own! I respect both naked mommas & the mommas who are still trying to build confidence. What truly matters is that we are raising respectful, loving, & smart little humans !
Naked mom of 3 here (1 boy, 2 girls)! And I’m with you! IMO if you make it weird, then it will be. OR you can make it a natural thing, and show your kids (boys & girls) body positivity and pride! My son is now 19 and I can assure you he’s not traumatized by, not even gonna lie, walking in with my tits out! ‘MOM put them away!’…and continuing with the conversation like nothing! To each its own I say, but my kids have seen the scar they came from (C-section mama) and I hope this makes my son a loving husband to his future wife and my girls are ALWAYS proud of what their body can do.
Naked Mom here! I couldn’t agree more.
This is actually a beautiful thing,
research/science and psychology all show that kids don’t naturally link bikinis/thongs/breasts/butts or skin to anything sexual. To them, a body is just for running, jumping, and swimming..there’s no ‘hidden meaning’ or sexualization until the world teaches them to see it that way. Choosing to lean into that innocence by normalizing all bodies, helps them grow up feeling confident and neutral instead of ashamed.. The fact that your MIL didn’t breast-feed her children because of their gender is heartbreaking. A missed opportunity for both mother and child. I truly believe that children see the world with such pure eyes. You’re Hendrix’s mama and that’s all he sees. So wear what you want, be naked..live free.
We all have to guard our hearts these days against people who add no real value to our lives. They only feel the courage because they’re behind a screen. I hope that one day women can be more uplifting and appreciate the difference in the way we do things. Until then if you have nothing nice to say…isn’t a new concept.
You said it! Keep being an authentic, awesome mom. That woman needs to learn to love herself and others.
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